Midlife Witch Hunter (The Forty Proof Series Book 6) Read online

My left foot was still in the tunnel.

  Something cold and slimy wrapped around my left ankle and yanked me hard back into the darkness. None of my friends even had a chance to reach for me.

  “I do not have time for this shit!” I hollered as I sped through the darkness. Probably straight toward an open maw filled with teeth, spit, and venom. I mean, let’s be honest, that was a pretty good guess at this point.

  I should have been more afraid. Should have been ducking terrified.

  But I found myself feeling weirdly irritated about the whole thing. Like all my ducks had flown the coop, and I had none left to give. Yes, I know that ducks don’t have a coop—don’t get all semantic on me.

  Whatever had me around the ankle was yanking me through tunnel after tunnel at a speed that wasn’t worth arguing with, so I stopped fighting it.

  “I’m saving my strength to kick your ass in person!” I snapped as the speed of my descent slowed. I was revving myself up to see the monster in all its glory, and hopefully kick its ass, but as its sharp-toothed maw and huge glowing eyes came into view, it flung me down a tunnel away from it.

  I rolled, grunted, cursed, and came to a tumbling stop.

  Lights blinked on all around me, giving me a good view of a dark field stretched out ahead of me. I was sitting in an archway, a cobblestone-studded path under me, looking into . . . a different exit out of the tunnels. If I were to guess, I’d say I was looking at the path that would take me straight to the actual realm of the demon fae. Whatever creature had seen fit to drag me down here was nowhere to be found. Had it been convinced to bring me here? I pushed slowly to my feet, my thighs, calves, and lower back protesting every move. As I stood there, staring out into a land that had a very different kind of beauty to it than the fae lands Karissa ruled, my heart fluttered.

  In the darkness, light still thrived.

  Specks of it danced through the air, only they were dark reds and oranges, more like tiny flames than miniature suns. Tall, slender figures moved gracefully, walking with purpose to the left and right of me, too far away for me to see if they were male or female. They could have passed for human in shape. The call of night birds filled the air, and a cool breeze that blew through the grassy fields, bending the stalks of the long grasses around me. I didn’t realize I’d stepped out into the field, following the path, that I’d bent to grab hold of something, until a soft voice whispered in my ear.

  My name on the wind. One of the figures stopped and turned to me. Male, that one was male. He didn’t move forward. Just stood there looking at me, and me at him.

  This place called to me on a deep level. Far more than the fae lands ever had. Was that good? Bad? Or just because I was a weirdo with mixed-up DNA? I held out a hand to one of the tiny fire lights, and it flickered closer.

  Flames danced around a creature that was no bigger than a firefly, but it was no bug. The flaming bird flitted closer and closer to my palm. Warmth rolled off it and to my skin. It waved at me. Smiled. I smiled back.

  “Do not move, Lass.” Crash’s voice, right behind me.

  A shiver ran through me, from my head straight to my lady bits. I closed my eyes and just breathed in. Wait. No. I was not feeling anything for him! I couldn’t, not again.

  I threw an elbow back into his gut, driving the air out of him in a whoosh that bent him in half. Probably I should have thought that through, but I was done being careful around Crash. I had to be. Whatever spell the place had on me faded as my anger at the man who’d caused me so much heartache filled me up and burned away all the other emotions.

  I spun and headed back the way I’d come, then realized in a flash of irritation that there was no way I’d find my way back through the tunnels. I couldn’t read goblin, and I certainly didn’t remember all the turns I’d been dragged around. Preservation won out over pride. I had to get to my friends. Maybe along the way I’d find a way to slow down his search for the first witch.

  “You know the way out?”

  He grunted what was likely a yes.

  “Let’s go then.” I didn’t touch him. I wanted to, but I didn’t. Okay, maybe I reached out for him and accidently touched his ass. I mean, he was bent over, and I jumped away quickly. As if it were an accident. As if I hadn’t just grabbed his butt. Yeah, it was a grab, not just a touch. Bad, bad me. It was almost as if I couldn’t help it.

  I looked back into the field, and that one figure was still watching us. Unmoving. Head tipping to the side.

  Crash rubbed at his stomach and motioned for me to go ahead of him, touching a finger to his lips. My eyes tracked the movement, and gawd damn if I couldn’t help myself from licking my own lips.

  Something was seriously wrong with me. I needed help. Therapy. A freaking intervention. The man was an addiction I couldn’t seem to get out of my system. Though, to be fair, he and I had been not even truly broken up (were we ever really together?) for a very short time.

  Biting the inside of my cheeks, ignoring the way Crash’s eyes slid over me, I made my feet move.

  We left the dark meadow as more of the other figures noticed us and turned our way. They drew closer, their eyes glowing a strange green. Crash put a hand to my lower back and propelled me forward, pushing me into a jog as soon as we were out of sight of the meadow and the demon fae.

  “What is that place? Were those the demon fae?” I asked as we traversed the tunnels. There was a fine glow of something on the walls, just enough that you didn’t need a light to find your way. How had we not noticed it before?

  “It is a place you should never go, ever again.” His voice was a low rumble. I had to stop and lean against the wall as the reverberation went straight to my hoo-haw. Lady bits. My cat, as Feish would say.

  A shudder rippled through me that I struggled to contain. Nope. Not containing it.

  “Bree?” His voice was closer, the sound caressing my ears, and I closed my eyes. Tried to think of anything but him.

  Cleaning toilets.

  Newspaper stains on my hands.

  Being sick after too much whiskey.

  He breathed too close, and the warm air brushed across my cheek. I struggled not to come right there.

  “Jaysus, don’t speak to me.” I hissed out the words, knees clamped together as I fought whatever hellfire magic was happening. He clearly wasn’t affected by it.

  Then his eyes widened, and he put a hand to his head. “Goddess. She said she had a way to block your connection to the fae. But that’s impossible. It shouldn’t have worked. I thought she was just . . . full of shit like usual.”

  He seemed to be talking more to himself than me. Either way, it was driving me crazy.

  “Stop. Talking.” I bent at the waist as waves of building pressure had me clamping my knees together. I kept a hand against the wall, barely managing to stay upright. “Just. Lead.”

  Now you’d think that would be better. It was not.

  Here I was, staring at the perfect ass I’d just groped, my body aching and panting for air as if I’d just sprinted a half mile. Remembering every hot, seductive moment I’d ever shared with him, from the feel of his hands to the taste of his lips, to the pressure of his body against mine.

  You try walking up a steady slope with your knees together and your lady bits pulsing with every step you take. “Every move you make,” I whispered. “I’ll be watching you.”

  Crash turned around and looked at me. I shrugged. “I’ll take songs of the eighties for a thousand, Alex.”

  I don’t know how long it took us to get out of the tunnels. Too long.

  I was covered in sweat by the time we got to the exit. I stumbled through, and Eric caught me.

  “Bree, are you okay? Injured?”

  That reminded me. I lifted my arm. The blood had crusted where Robert had gnawed on me, and the bites were tender, but I wasn’t about to bleed to death.

  “I’ll be okay. Where is Robert? He was . . .” I didn’t want to say possessed. But that was the best description I had for what had happened to him.

  Looks were shared. Eammon cleared his throat. “He took off running. Screamed that we’d never find him, and he’d kill us all if we tried.” Eammon shook his head. “Sounded an awful lot like a woman to me.”

  Gran floated at the back of the group, and her sniff was loud enough for all of the ghost-seers to hear her loud and clear. Penny held up her hand and pointed to the man at my side. “He’s not our friend any longer. I suggest that we discuss nothing else while he stands here.”

  She wasn’t wrong. I looked over at Crash and then turned my back on him as the heat rose through my body in a wave that had all my parts tingling mightily. “I don’t know what happened, or why I’m reacting this way, but I don’t want to talk to you. I think you should go.”

  He sighed, and even that subtle sound had my body perking up. I closed my eyes, but I could still see him in my mind’s eye buck naked, wrapped in a sheet, or soaking wet in my shower, all slippery and soapy. I groaned and went to my knees, grateful for the soft grass under them.

  “You could tone it down,” Suzy snapped, and there was a sound like a slap. “You are capable, fae king. Or do you wish to torture her?”

  Tone it down?

  “I am used to being myself with her.” Crash sounded . . . sad, but his voice didn’t strum the hormones in my body into an orchestra headed straight for orgasm. I peeked with one eye and looked over my shoulder. He was still the way I’d always seen him, handsome and drool-worthy. “Better?” he asked.

  No pings in my lady parts. I nodded. “This was part of the cost. It’s . . . it is what it is.” Of course, I hadn’t understood what exactly it would mean to give up the fae side of me. But obviously part of it was this heightened sensitivity to fae magic. Like how the land of Faerie had affected me. How Crash affected me.

  “No.” Eammon stepped between us, vibrating like a pissed-off chihuahua facing off a wolf. “Get out of here, Crash. You work for the Dark Council. We do not.”

  Crash gave a stiff, stilted bow from the waist. “I will say one final thing. You brought Robert back to life, to the moments before he died the first time. If you do not find a way to cure him, he will die again in the same manner. Which . . . as you can see by the bites on Bree’s arm, will be death by vampirism.”

  I spluttered and got to my feet, only to immediately stumble and grab for the person closest to me. Eric held out a big hand, and I clung to him. “Wait, what?”

  Crash just shut the double doors leading to the tunnels, sliding a padlock between the handles and closing it with a click. Still, he didn’t say a single word—he just turned his back on us and strode away. He’d said his “final thing” and not a word more. Damn his literal ass.

  I looked at my friends and Penny just shook her head. “To the house that waits for us. Then we will discuss everything.”

  Limping and stumbling along, my friends led the way, Penny and Eammon arguing, Eric and Suzy holding hands. Sarge right at my side, his eyes worried as he sniffed the air. Bridgette was at the back, and I let myself drift back to join her. Kinkly flew from her smaller shoulder up to mine. “The gates . . . they were open on this side,” I said.

  She flinched and looked straight ahead. “I’d . . . hoped they would be. With Crash going ahead of us, like you said . . .”

  “But you didn’t know for sure.”

  Her shoulders hunched. “Leland said the king had come this way, confirming what Roderick had guessed. Once I knew that, I figured our way would be safer because he’d gone ahead of us.”

  I looked over my shoulder at the now closed gates, feeling like we’d forgotten something. Something important, like not turning off the oven before we left home, but what was it?

  Chapter

  Thirteen

  The house that belonged to Roderick backed onto a winding section of the Seine River. Actually, it was less of a house and more of a small castle. A vineyard spilled out on the western slope of the field around the house, the river peeked out on the northern edge, and there were stables to the south and bare fields to the east with waving stands of grain.

  All in all, if we weren’t there to work, I would have loved to explore the area. This would have been a hell of a vacation spot. Of course, there was no chance we were going get a break.

  Our group sat around a big table in the main dining hall of the castle, a butler serving us food while a pair of maids prepped our rooms. The only one not with us was Bridgette, who’d insisted on searching for her cousins right away. I couldn’t stop her, and she’d left within minutes of making sure we were settled safe and sound.

  “Is this for real?” Suzy asked. “I mean, I like it and all, but are they spying on us? And by they I do mean you and the maids,” she said to the butler—Pierre, who jerked as if she’d pinched his ass.

  “I think not, mademoiselle.” His accent was not too thick. He was easy to understand.

  She looked him over. He stared back, totally unintimidated.

  Sarge stood and leaned toward him. “What she means is, we need some privacy. So scat, Pepe.”

  Pierre sniffed and turned stiffly, his heels clicking across the tile floor before he slammed the door shut behind him, sealing off the dining hall for a little privacy.

  “He didn’t like that much,” Kinkly said through a yawn.

  Penny rapped her cane on the floor. “We have limited time. We know Crash is here hunting for the first witch, though at least he isn’t far ahead of us. We also know she’s dangerous and has likely taken other hunters into her custody or killed them. We can’t dilly-dally at this point.”

  “And Robert,” I said. “He bit me, and Crash said . . .”

  “Vampirism,” Eammon growled. “It’s possible. A dirty trick to bring a person back to life, still infected with whatever killed them!”

  “Gawd, what I wouldn’t give to stick some spiny cactus in her shorts and make her sit on it for a week. And then add some itching powder for good measure,” I muttered.

  “Karissa?” Kinkly asked, and I nodded.

  Sarge touched the wounds on my arm. We’d wrapped them, but they weren’t bothering me much, to be honest. “Maybe he was afraid he’d hurt you again? The bite marks were deep.”

  I grimaced. “I was able to get him off me.”

  “How?” Penny asked quietly. “I don’t mean to belittle you, Bree, but he must be physically stronger than you.”

  I shrugged. “I used my connection to the dead. I figured it was a solid bet.”

  “But he isn’t dead anymore,” Kinkly mumbled in my ear.

  I nodded. “But he’s recently dead. And when I realized there was some sort of vampire thing going on, I figured close enough. That’s a thing, isn’t it? Almost dead?”

  My friends didn’t look so sure, even if it made sense to me. Penny’s deeply lined face was troubled. “Does anyone know how Robert died? To be sure. Not that I doubt you.” Of course, she hadn’t seen Robert’s fangs. Or felt them in her arm. “What I heard was Fossette coming out of his mouth. That is of concern. She was so focused on Robert, she did not see me.”

  Ducking hell, I hadn’t even thought of that. “Penny, we should fly you home.”

  She waved her cane. “It will be fine. I will be careful. Now, who would know exactly how Robert died? We need to be sure.”

  Everyone looked at me. “Roderick would,” I said. “They knew each other before.”

  Which is how I ended up calling him. It was the middle of the night at home, but he didn’t sound tired.

  What was I thinking? Of course he didn’t sleep. He was, after all, a vampire himself.

  “Bree?” Roderick’s voice was clipped. “You’re already there? Faerie must be changing faster than I thought. Interesting.” He paused. “Have you per chance found the witch already?”

  I stared at the phone in my hand and wished it were Roderick’s neck so I could strangle him. Interesting was not the word I’d use. “I just came through hell and . . . never mind. Look, do you know how Robert died?”

  The silence was heavy and lasted far longer than it should have. “Why do you wish to know that?”

  I banged the old-school phone on the table, wishing it were Roderick’s head, before I pressed it back to my ear. “Because he’s alive, as you saw in the council chamber. Karissa made an elixir that restored him, but I guess it brought him back to the way he was just before he died. Crash said we need to find a way to help him. He said it was a vampire who took him, and we need to be sure.”

  Silence again. “Say that one more time. I want to make sure I am not hearing you wrong.” His voice was careful, monotone. I didn’t like it. I repeated my words.

  “Karissa gave me an elixir to bring Robert back to life. It brought him back to his state of being just before he died the last time.” I turned to my friends. They looked as bewildered as I felt.

  Roderick swallowed so loudly I could hear it through the phone. “Crash is correct. He was bitten by a vampire, Bree. He killed his wife, and then he ended up dying because his body could not handle the transition. His remains were locked in a crypt. You called him up when you first visited the Hollows’ cemetery those many months ago.”

  I almost asked him to say it again. I had been hoping that Crash was wrong. That my own eyes were wrong. There were not enough ducks for this truth. I wanted my friend to be okay, but Robert was in serious trouble.

  Sarge took the phone. “How much time do we have?”

  “Maybe a week,” Roderick said. “It will depend on how much blood he takes from others. The last time this happened the blood-letting was unwilling on his part. He essentially killed himself so he would not harm others after he killed Eleanor.”

  Which fit with Robert’s sense of guardianship and honor. And it explained why he’d been acting weird.

  “Find Fossette, she is your priority,” Roderick said. “It will not matter if you save Robert, if we are overrun with the undead.”

  “Says the vampire,” muttered Kinkly.

  Roderick went on. “Bree, are you hearing me? It’s not that Robert isn’t important. He was a good man then, and he is a good man now, even though he hates me. But the first witch must be your target. Find her quickly, and then find Robert.”